The Legend of Zelda - Trinity of Evil

SePH once worked on a project called "Lyra islands". He made the whole overworld, but later dropped his project because he wasn't familiar with dungeon making by the time. I like his idea, it'd be too bad to definitely put it to rest. If I ever have the chance to benefit assistance of an user-friendly editor, I'd like to edit that map to come up with my own storyline. Talking about it, I already have it on the back of my head. Here's the pitch:

"A long time ago, Hyrule land was blessed with a golden age, protected by the benevolent power of triforce. That all was before the power part become corrupted by the three evil princes who seized it for their thirst of conquest.
Ganon, prince of soul corruption, instilled jealousy, hatred and greediness in heart of peaceful villagers.
Carock, prince of black magic, lent to Ganon his mastery of occult arts to raise an army against the Hyrule knights still defending kingdom. Little is known about Thorm, the last figure of evil triumvirate, but his key intervention was responsible of Hyrule knights extermination. They were about to make their dreams of being Gods come true, until four wise maiden ultimately seal them into three sacred artifacts: the Hylian scepter (Ganon), the zither of death mountain (Carock) and the bell of Girarto (Thorm). Hyrule once again was permitted to rest for ages to come.
Until a rising group of thieves steal the sacred bell... People started to stop living in harmony with nature. Worse yet, their behavior put it in danger. It's up to a warrior with a pure soul to discover reason of sudden change, retrieve the artifacts and calm furious elements wrecking havoc on Hyrule."


That's about it. I like the idea of not having only one arch nemesis, but three. I already imagine where I will place dungeons on the map. It's just that I need a tool to edit them, the text, overworld details, the events, the items, sprites. If I ever come to definitely give up the project, as I said previously, I'd be disposed to share my views with someone courageous enough to accomplish it.

This does sound like a good idea, but it would take a bit of time to complete, I'm sure. One reason is because all those things you said that need to be edited are planned to appear in Black Magic, but Black Magic is still a WIP editor and another release isn't planned for a bit still (spring/summer?). But in the mean time you could probably sketch ideas and whatnot if you are willing to wait, but good luck!

I'm not trying to upset you, this is strictly just constructive criticism. The story sounds pretty dang good, it caught my attention, you just need to use proper grammar and word things correctly to better reach the reader / player.

Let's see, I'm in a creative mood atm, let's see what I can come up with. Give me a few minutes.....

Well I spent about a half hour going over your work for you, and so far this is what I have...

Quote :

"A long time ago, the land of Hyrule was blessed with a Golden Age protected by the
kind, generous, and caring triforce. One day, however, all that the Triforce stood for...

Peace, brought on by the Triforce of Wisdom...
Prosperity, given from the Triforce of Power...
and Passion, endowed by the Triforce of Courage...

All came to an end by the hands of three evil Princes' who seized the powers of the Triforce for themselves.

Ganon, The Prince of soul corruption, forcefully brainwashed jealousy, hatred, and greed
into the hearts of the helpless Villagers.

Carock, The Prince of Black Magic, assisted Ganon with his mastery of the occult arts to
raise an evil army against The Knights of Hyrule, while they bravely defended their Kingdom.

Little is known about the last figure of the evil trio, but his key intervention was
responsible for The Knights of Hyrule's extermination.

All that remained after the tragic
battle was a letter with an engraved symbol and names that read, "...Ganon, Carock, and Thorm...", the rest of the letter was erased in blood.

Their intentions of evil dominance came true, until four wise maidens sealed them into
three sacred artifacts...

The Hylian scepter that entombed Ganon,

The Zither of Death Mountain that imprisoned Carock,

and The Bell of Girarto for Thorm incassed each of the Evil Trio for all eternity. At last
Hyrule was permitted to once again rest easy for ages to come."

That's about half way done to my standards and taste. The spacing on the paragraphs got screwed up because of the limitations or restrictions on forums, but the point behind this the way you arrange words in order to paint a clear picture to the readers mind. It's a little rough in the part where I described the Trifoce, but this is pretty much the approach I would take in order to write a professional looking script.

A few things to note when writing, again please don't take offense to this as I am simply trying to help you;
•Paragraphs: Don't be afraid to use these as much as you want as it helps separate and organize your story. Especially seeing as how everything is going to look like that in ALTTP anyway. Pretty much it'll just help you in the long run when you start to import the script into the ALTTP rom.
•Try not to use words that are too complex. Not everyone is as smart as us, so abuse definitions or phrases to describe the word you want to use
•Capitalization: This is regarding names of nouns "person, place, or thing". Capitalizing shows respect and puts power into the noun.
•Proof Read: Don't be afraid to read it aloud to yourself, if it doesn't flow right through your mouth, chances are it's due to a grammar error in the material, so don't be afraid to reword or rearrange a sentence, or even multiple sentences.
•Punctuation: This is a huge problem a lot people have trouble with, I'm no exception. The way I grasp it, commas mean pause, and periods mean break/stop/start new.

Again I hope you don't get offended by this, I understand grammar correction can easily be taken as condescending. I simply read your story and though it genuinely had a good story behind it, unfortunately it didn't paint a pretty picture in my imagination as I read it, is all.

If you want, I can finish working on that for you tomorrow, some time in the morning "Pacific Time", for you if you want.

wiiqwertyuiop wrote:

This does sound like a good idea, but it would take a bit of time to complete, I'm sure. One reason is because all those things you said that need to be edited are planned to appear in Black Magic, but Black Magic is still a WIP editor and another release isn't planned for a bit still (spring/summer?). But in the mean time you could probably sketch ideas and whatnot if you are willing to wait, but good luck!

To be frank, I'm not in a hurry. I read a lot about MathOnNapkins works, it sounds so amazing I'm willing to bear with it until beta is effectively released. I may modify the plot of TOE slightly, meanwhile.
Regarding characterization: Ganon, well, is Ganon, ambitious, cunning, malevolent. Carock is retiring and devoted to the latter warlord. Thorm is the core of my ambition for this project, as he'll be the closest equivalent to Ganon ever known.
Of course, in the game, he will have his own agenda.

«•CRIMSON•» wrote:

I'm not trying to upset you, this is strictly just constructive criticism.

Don't worry, I see no offense. I'm perfectly aware my grammar is mangled at times. It's my everyday speech on the interwebs. English isn't my mother tongue, this explains that. So, don't take it as a mark of disrespect if my lines seem borderline weird to you. I'm trying my best to be understood.

I read your text, and it's finer than I could ever put out. In any case, I keep it for later use, thanks

Cool, man I'm liking this forum more and more.

So far everyone's reasonable and fare.

I'd say since English isn't your native language, you easily could have fooled me. Most Americans I can't even write half as good as you, so mad props to ya. Seriously.

I have yet to play the unfinished game thoroughly to determine what I'm going to do with the several locations displayed. The light world segment is going to be as long as original, except with a bit more interaction between characters. Simple and facultative events in margins of main quest would be great to give density to universe. I also plan to introduce Link's two childhood friends (a boy and a girl). Still thinking about intricacies of their triangle relationship. So far, here's some of the dungeons I wanna work on:


[Light World]

- The obligatory castle dungeon (self explanatory)
- Farania oasis (same location as the cursed oasis, except more of a generic place)
- The carved mountain of Orish (an ancient civilization's place of cult)
- ...Must think about another level.
- The tower of thieves (a seemingly out of reach island fortress that became lair to an increasingly group of bandits)


[Dark World]

- ...
- gotta come up with two more ideas later on.
- Anti-fairies palace (it's a corrupted underground temple inhabited by evil forms of spirit) [Carock's stronghold]
- Ice crypt (What was a thriving island populated by wildlife became an ice inferno)
- some mini dungeon, with a surprise at the end (can't say no more to not spoil storyline)
- Acclimation atelier (the mad alchemist's hidden lair. A sort of cave comprised of an interior beach, acclimation gardens and a housing in second floor)
- The cursed oasis (an area once populated by Bedouins. They died mysteriously of sickness. The little oasis swallowed desert to fuse into an odd biotope) [Thorm's stronghold]
- Lighthouse of power (last dungeon of the game) [Ganon's stronghold]